


Fucking Insane or Insanely Fuckable?

by sp000kytroy



Category: Fight Club (1999), Fight Club - All Media Types, Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, High School AU, M/M, jack is 18 so it's legal fuckin fight me, tags will be added as the story progresses, teacher/student relationship, tyler durden is a teacher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-18 00:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7291429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sp000kytroy/pseuds/sp000kytroy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack Moore begins his senior year of high school, but he fucks up when he gets on his philosophy teacher's bad side. Is it even his bad side? Who the fuck knows anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fucking Insane or Insanely Fuckable?

"Jack Moore?" The teacher called, looking up from his paper. A tall boy in the back row raised his hand silently. The teacher looked at the boy with a look of annoyance on his face.  
"Jack?" He said quietly. Jack looked back at the teacher, confused.  
"Yeah, Mr. Durden?"  
"What did I say before I took role?"  
"Raise your hand and say 'here'?" Jack knew already this was gonna be a shitty class.  
"Exactly. Now, can you tell me what you did?"  
"I didn't say 'here'?" Mr. Durden smiled.  
"Exactly. Now, do you want to try again?" Jack rolled his eyes.  
"Yeah, sure."  
"Jack Moore." Mr. Durden said his name once again, eyes trained keenly on Jack’s. Jack sighed, raising his hand.  
"Here."  
"Thank you, Jack. Now, everyone, take out a blank sheet of paper and write your name on it." Mr. Durden said as he walked to his desk.  
"Um, Mr. Durden?" A girl sitting in the front raised her hand. Mr. Durden turned to look at her.  
"You didn't finish role."  
At this, Mr. Durden chuckled. "I didn't finish role? My, how silly of me. Perhaps you think you could do it better?" Mr. Durden said calmly, slowly walking until he was in front of the girl's desk. The girl seemed flustered, unsure of how to respond.  
"Perhaps you'd like to teach the class?" Mr. Durden continued. The girl stared as he leaned down to prop himself up on the desk. He leaned close to her ear and whispered, "If you want to take my place, go ahead. But if you don't, I'd suggest shutting the fuck up and letting me do my job." The girl, eyes wide, quickly apologized. Mr. Durden returned to the front of the classroom, surveying the class. Jack had his head down, focused on something between his legs. Mr. Durden cleared his throat and stood, eyes once again on Jack. By the time Jack looked up, everyone in the class was staring at him.  
“Either you’re playing with your, likely small, dick, Mister Moore, or you’re on your phone.” His comment got nervous giggles from the rest of the class. Mr. Durden walked slowly to Jack's desk, plucking his phone out of his hands.  
"’Oh my god marla my phil teacher is fucking insane.’" Mr. Durden read in a bland voice. Smirking, he walked back to his desk and dropped the phone onto its surface.  
"You'll be sitting in the front from now on, Mister Moore. Switch with Becky." He looked at the girl who had interrupted him before. The girl began to speak, but a glare from Mr. Durden silenced her. The two students shuffled around to their new seats halfheartedly.  
"And by the way, Jack, you’d be right in saying that the only fucking I do is insanely well." He winked at the boy before turning to the whiteboard and writing. Another round of nervous laughter rippled through the classroom and Jack shrank down in his chair. This was going to be a shit year.

The bell rang in the middle of a speech about how the government was bullshit, given by Tyler Durden himself. He slammed his hand down on Jack’s desk in response to the interruption and sighed. Jack nearly fell out of his chair at the action, which went unnoticed by all but Mr. Durden. The other students were scrambling out of their chairs, glad to be free from the very pissed ranting of Mr. Durden. Jack moved to get up himself, but was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder.  
“You’ll be staying after class, Mister Moore.” Tyler Durden’s voice made Jack’s stomach drop. The last of the students were filing out of the classroom and Jack watched them go longingly. He made a move to get up and spoke.  
“Look, sir, I need to get to my next class--” Jack was silenced by Tyler slamming the door closed. He turned to Jack with an emotionless expression and began walking towards the tired senior.  
“Do you think I actually fucking care? I don’t know what your other teachers are like, but I don’t accept your kind of behavior in my classroom.” He leaned over Jack’s desk, his voice sending chills down Jack’s spine. “I expect the students in my class to do what I say, when I say. You asswipes are nothing more than space monkeys, doing what they’re told without question or objection. I’ll be keeping your phone until I see a five-page typed essay on my desk on why the fuck you think it’s okay to disregard my instructions and disrespect me.” Tyler stood up abruptly, taking a box of cigarettes out of his pocket. He took a cigarette out and placed it in his mouth, glancing at Jack.  
“I look forward to you being in my class the rest of the year,” he smiled, “now get the fuck out of my class..” Jack nearly tripped getting up. He wasted no time leaving the classroom, and just as he closed the door behind him, the bell rang again. He let out a quiet fuck and made his way to a certain back staircase where he knew a certain someone would be.  
_______________________________

“Look what the cat dragged in!” Jack Moore coughed in response to the smokey greeting of Marla Singer.  
“Hey, Marla. Mind if I hang out with you until next class?” Jack said sheepishly as he moved to sit against the wall across from the heavy smoker. Marla Singer had been smoking since sixth grade and basically lived off the shit. Marla shrugged.  
“Go for it, kid. What’s up?” She took another breath of the cigarette while waiting for Jack’s response.  
“I have a fucking asshole for a philosophy teacher. He called me out for not saying ‘here’ during role call. Who the fuck takes role!” Jack’s bubbling anger exploded quickly. Marla chuckled quietly. “He took my fucking phone and I have to write a five page essay on why I ‘think it’s okay to disrespect him’ if I want it back! That can’t be fucking allowed!” Jack ranted. Marla took a quick breath of smoke before responding to the angry Jack Moore.  
“Did he give you any specifications other than it being 5 pages?” Marla asked, her lips curling into a smile. Jack looked at her, confused.  
“No, why?”  
“Because you could just spell out ‘FUCK YOU’ in really big font and stretch it out to be five pages.” Marla was beaming at the idea. She took another breath of the cigarette, and when she breathed out, the smoke came out her nose. Jack chuckled at the idea.  
“I really doubt I’d get my phone back if I did that. He’d chuck it out the window or set it on fire or something.” Marla rolled her eyes at Jack’s protest.  
“It won’t hurt to try. Hell, I’ll do it for you.” Another puff of smoke.  
“That’s really not the best idea--” A half-smoked cigarette hit Jack square in the forehead. Marla had her arms crossed and smoke leaking from her nostrils, giving her a slightly cartoonish look.  
“You’re doing it and that’s final. You’re not gonna fucking stand for this shit, kid.” Jack shrugged and stretched. He knew better than to try to change her mind. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Marla giggled.  
“Was he HOT???” she snorted. Jack sighed and rolled his eyes, a slight blush finding its way to his cheeks. In all his anger, Jack hadn’t even payed attention to what his teacher really looked like. Now that Marla had brought it up…. shit. Luckily, the bell rang, and Jack left Marla in the stairwell to get to his next class.

**Author's Note:**

> bahahahh I had this idea such a long time ago and I had this document sitting in my files for a long time so I decided FUCK IT and so now it's gonna be a series. Strap yourselves in and enjoy my attempt at writing a high school fanfic with only one year of experience under my belt. what the fuck is philosophy clas??? i dont know but let's have tyler durden teach it anyway!!!!


End file.
